Saturday, October 18, 2008

Quimby Road LKHC Week 3

Weenie Woman (that would be me) decided to be a volunteer for the 3rd LKHC ride. A good sized crowd of nonweenies of both sexes showed up for the Quimby Road climb. Of course there was some drama (the weather being the case for the last 2 rides), this time in the form of not having the roster of everyone’s numbers. So we improvised with letters and whatnot.
Scene 1: Show me the Money
Me: Forgot your number, eh?
Cyclist: Yeah.
Me: That’ll cost you an extra $10 payable to me. You’ll be contributing to my financial bailout!
Scene 2: The Bag
Volunteer: Here’s the large trash bag to take clothing to the top.
Me: Uh um, you sure it's not a body bag to collect those poor souls .... oh I know, I'm dreadful.
Scene 3: The photos
We positioned ourselves on Quimby to take photos, aka different angles of pain. Nah, everyone looked fantastic as they came up the last leg of the climb. Wow, the first several riders to finish were breathing heavily. What a sound.
Me: Say Mr. Cyclist, do you suppose if I practiced some heavy breathing exercises, I might improve?
Cyclist: Is it a feeling of oxygen deprivation or am I speaking with a nut case?
Me: Hmm, let me think about that and get back to you.
Scene 4: The Tarantula
Volunteer: Look, a tarantula.
Me: The bugger keeps crossing the road back and forth, again and again. Too much EPO?
[Cyclists coming]
Me: Brake brake, don’t run over the spider!
[The cyclists who encountered the little fella deftly maneuvered around it. Amazing.]
Me: Do you think he or she is in search of its lover or perhaps it wants to join in on the fun?
Cyclist: Is it a feeling of oxygen deprivation or am I speaking with a nut case?
Me: Show stopper! Scene stealer! We should make it an honorary LKHC member!
Scene 5: My Car
Me: Those extra bike wheels in the passenger seat are getting in the way of the gear shift. Guess I’ll have to put it in neutral on the drive down Quimby.
Volunteer: Um, is that safe?
Me: Got me a backseat driver, eh? Wait, you are in the backseat. Buckle up Mister, you’re in for a ride. [as I hit the gas pedal]. Oh by the way, I only brake for tarantulas ....
I bow to all that rode today. It was a joy to watch and to take photos. Fantastic job.

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